I had coffee with a beautiful new friend today and something came up in our conversation that I want to write about today. For me blogging is a way to articulate thoughts and bring a deeper experience to some powerful life lessons. There are different stages of learning. Bloom’s Taxonomy is a great example of the stages of how we learn. We really don’t start knowing something until we start to apply it. We don’t fully learn something new until we are able to create new experiences from the knowledge. This takes time and depth. This random piece of info really has nothing to do with the purpose of this blog post about resistance… squirrel!
When we are resisting something, we are bringing it into our reality – into our experience. When we are fighting against something we are often doing as much harm as allowing what we don’t want to occur, to occur. This is simply because we are bringing power to the exact situation that we do not want. (yes, feel free to re-read. Then continue on and lets see if this makes sense)
We have an experience that we don’t like. We try to get away from it and we do not know how. So our first instinct is to fight it. To put up our hands and say no, I will not allow this. However; in the shear energy that we carry with our fight, it is like we are emotionally experiencing what we do not want. We may stop it physically but we still feel the emotional experience. Therefore bringing the experience into our reality.
We will really experience what it is that we WANT to experience, when learn to let go of the resistance and the fight of what is it we DO NOT want.
Lets play with some examples: Good VS Evil. We experience evil, we know we do not want it. Our thoughts and behaviors then tend to go into resist/fight mode against evil. This might look like: “I don’t want evil to be in my life. We must stop the evil. Evil is bad. Evil makes me feel bad.” Wrapped in these thoughts and feelings is what? It is evil. We are continuing to bring exactly what we do not want to experience into our experience.
So then how do we grow beyond this space to a space where we experience what we desire, which in this example is ‘good’? This looks like: “I have good in my life. I embrace the goodness around me. Good makes me feel peaceful and happy. Good is a great space to experience.” When we are in this space, we simply don’t even bring into our world the evil – it doesn’t exist in the space. This is when we start to experience what we want to instead of continuing to experience what do not want.
Another example is feedback and how we talk to others. Using an example of being a parent talking to our kids: “You are not stupid. You are not ugly. You are not mean.” This feedback that is wrapped in bringing what they ‘are not’ into a conscious reality. Whereas: “You are smart. you are beautiful. You are kind.” leaves no space for what we do NOT want them to feel or know.
Where in your life are you bringing experiences that you do not want simply through resistance and trying to stop it?